89-year California pastor Harold Camping, founder of World Family Radio, argues that the kidnapping (rapture) coming Saturday, May 21, 2011 and that the world will officially end October 21, 2011. Camping’s predictions are based on a complex (“made up”) mathematical formula that even Will Hunting could not solve. (Yes, I realize that hunting is a fictional character, but at this point, I’m not convinced Camping is real either.)
For some reason, maybe a slow news cycle, the media respected Camping and gave ample ink to the forecast. So I thought up a few tips to get through the weekend.
Just in case he’s right and at the end of the day his “math” adds up, here are five requirements that you must pick-up to prepare for the big apocalyptic day.
1. Toilet paper – of course. Head on up to a food store and buy, what else are you going to use? Leaves?
2. Water – piece of cake. Hydration is a staple of every good rapture gameplan.
3. Music and books – Entertainment in the post apocalyptic world is important. Try to think of things that don’t require power, But if you need electronic devices stick to those capable of using batteries and also stock up on them D-Cells. I recommend a 1980′s Yamaha Keyboard because it will bring much needed spacey synth sounds to the ears. As for books, select books abound with Ocean Views and many references to Once upon a time for nostalgia.
4. Pants – If the world goes down, you might as well be comfortable. Marshalls is likely to have good prices on sweatpants.
5. Shake Weight – the world may end, but this does not mean you should stop taking care of your health. When you use shake weight, you can get strong and sculpted arms, we need to consider the post-apocalyptic dating scene.
Well, Now You’re Ready. Have a Safe and Happy Apocalypse!
Do you think camping is worth all the press he’s getting? Are you doing something different this weekend?
What is that saying about 15 minutes of fame. I think that is all these kind of people are after. They don’t have real talent so they come up with some ridiculous theory to get attention. I usually don’t pay attention to these nuts.